This lockdown is brutal! The expectation that I should be able to “homeschool” two primary school children of different ages, whilst working from home full time is unrealistic. I am barely coping and our current setup is not sustainable. Although my partner is also working from home it is me who is expected to take on the additional emotional labour and household tasks. We don’t talk about this anymore and I don’t push it, because I can’t face another argument about who is busiest or who earns the most money or has the most high profile job (it is him), I am trying to balance my daily professional work with being physically and emotionally available, to support my children as they struggle to connect to the internet, download their work, digest the instructions, press and un-press the mute button 30 times during a 45 minute virtual class etc. On a good day we make it outside for some fresh air but most days I don’t have enough time between meetings to motivate them to get ready to go out. Wrestling a five year old into his outdoor clothes, getting shoes on, making sure we are all fed and watered etc before we leave the house all takes time and effort that I no longer have time or energy for. I feel like I’m failing in every area of my life right now. I’m failing as a mother, as a professional woman, as a team mate, as a daughter. I wake every morning with a fear for what the day may hold. My sleep is broken and I have nightmares most nights. The weekends bring no joy. It is relentless and I am exhausted.