Coronavirus lockdown is not causing the surge in domestic abuse - it's just a distraction

But, the charity points out: ‘isolation has potential to aggravate pre-existing behaviours in abusive partners but isn’t the reason for abusive behaviour.’

And yet, we still make excuses.

‘Man struggling in lockdown stabbed his wife to death before killing himself’ was one headline last week. Alan Smith, 71, who was found dead alongside Elsie, also 71, had apparently been worried about getting his medication and food shopping - as if those are the shiny new reasons he murdered his wife. 

This is a distraction. 

The ‘coronavirus could easily have driven him over the edge’ narrative. What Smith actually did is stab his wife to death in her head and neck.

To my mind, this is not the action of a loving married man, or a man simply worried about getting his tablets. This has all the hallmarks of a domestic abuser. 

Builder Robert Needham, we have been informed, killed his family ‘after fearing work would dry up’.

The 42-year-old from Sussex shot his partner, Kelly, and their two daughters, aged 4 and 2, before turning the gun on himself last week. Because, naturally, the first thing you do if you are worried about not having any work is kill your family.

Needham was described by neighbours as a ‘bully’ and a ‘nasty piece of work.’ There’s another term for it: a domestic abuser.

He shot his children in their beds. This is not the actions of a loving father who was just worried about work. Yet we carry on describing such killings linked to ‘the stresses around the outbreak.’

What about 69-year-old Anthony Williams, who was reportedly worried about not being able to get his medication near his home in Brynglas, Cwmbran? Was this what made him strangle his wife of 44 years, Ruth, in cold blood? 

At the end of March, he was accused of ‘the first self-isolation murder’ and ‘UK’s first coronavirus murder.’

There is no such thing. 

Coronavirus does not cause someone to kill someone else. It doesn’t take over your brain in some weird science fiction novel and make you murder your spouse. It’s a form of domestic abuse. 

So why despite so many victims and survivors speaking out have we not listened? Why do we continue to give men who murder their wives a way out? Extenuating circumstances? 

We must tell an educated and informed narrative of domestic abuse if we ever want to end it. It is not just up to the police and specialist charities, and it certainly shouldn't be up the victims to take the load.

Let’s at least be factually correct. In England and Wales, the economic cost of domestic abuse is already £66 billion per year. The number of women killed by a partner, or ex, rose by almost a third last year - the highest recorded jump in 13 years.

That was back when we thought Corona was just a beer.

Domestic abuse has nothing to do with the coronavirus, or self-isolation. The lockdown is not causing it. But it is shining a big fat spotlight on a major problem in our communities. Victims of domestic abuse were already living in captivity and control before this happened. The difference is that the Government coronavirus measures mean a reduction in vital services and fewer opportunities for victims to find a safe place, go to work to escape and get help, and children to seek refuge in their school.

Long before the virus entered our lives, we had another epidemic on our hands in Britain: domestic abuse. And as the new Refuge statistics show, it’s only getting worse in lockdown. Not because of lockdown itself, but because we failed to properly tackle what was going on behind closed doors before they were sealed shut.

Charlie is the host of the Undiscussable podcast. In a Covid-19 special, she offers support and guidance to victims and survivors of domestic abuse, Undiscussable is available on all podcast platforms.